Would you benefit from trauma resolution coaching?
Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like abuse, vehicle accident or a disaster. There are single event traumas such as a death of someone close or a vehicle accident. Then there is more chronic trauma which is repeated and prolonged such as abuse or domestic violence.
Would you benefit from trauma resolution coaching?
Mainly ‘Never’ responses. It looks like although you have experienced trauma it is not currently impacting your day to day. It may be that you have managed to look after yourself well or you got the support that you needed.
Mostly ‘Always’ or ‘Sometimes’ responses. You would benefit from trauma resolution coaching and below are some ways to support yourself during this time:
People pleasing can’t say no or fear of conflict. We all have moments when we have agreed to things we haven’t wanted to however, if this is a strong pattern for you then you may want to practice setting healthy boundaries. If you don’t typically set boundaries this will be a new and scary feeling for you. Start by saying no to easy things like no to a drink or a cake when you don’t want it. If even this is hard try practicing getting in touch with your ‘no’ by answering really obvious questions to yourself that you would know the answer is no!
Hypervigilance causes us to feel exhausted because we overload our cognitive system (the amount of information our working memory can process at any given time). Take a break when you find yourself doing this. Take deep breaths or practice box breaths; breathing in for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds and let the breath out for four seconds and repeat this for at least four times. Find other ways to relax and lighten your mental load by reading a magazine or watching a film.
Addictions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's likely that it's hard to stop these without support, however, much can be done to reduce the impact of unhealthy coping mechanisms. You can cut down even by a short amount. One less cigarette, 30 mins without your phone, go home early one evening from work. You can watch what triggers your behaviours. What happened just before you started to drink or overeat? Finding our triggers can help us to reduce the impact and the control that they have upon us.
Shame is a lonely feeling; we often don’t want to share how we feel when we feel shame. It can make us react by withdrawing or by lashing out. Learn to be compassionate to yourself. Speak to yourself kindly and give yourself a break. Whatever caused you to feel shame is unlikely to be your fault, it just feels that way.
Difficulties sleeping either getting to sleep or falling asleep then waking after a few hours or you could even be oversleeping. Our sleep is affected by stress, and when we are stressed, we overeat, drink alcohol, coffee etc all of which impacts our sleep. Where you can follow a sleep hygiene routine but be mindful your current stress will need addressing before any real difference in your sleep will be realised.
Relationship difficulties either difficulties maintaining them or feeling drained by them. If you experienced trauma, chances are your relationships will be impacted. You may be a people pleaser as well and this can cause you to say yes to things you didn’t want to and feel resentful later. It could be work relationships, either because you don’t get on with your co-workers or because you feel drained by them. Whichever it is, an exercise in fact checking can help. Provide several scenarios to yourself why the person behaved the way they did rather than holding on to one view. By expanding the possibilities of the other person's behaviours greater empathy and understanding will probably occur.
Feeling that there is something wrong with you. After a traumatic event there is often a lot of self-blame or feeling that there is something wrong with you. Again, practice self-compassion here but above all know there is nothing wrong with you something happened to you!
Feeling that you can’t get on with your career. It is typical with trauma that your work and career is impacted. It could be boss and/or colleague relationships that is the issue, but it is also possible you are overworking or people pleasing and trying too hard. We don’t thrive under stress, pressure and overwhelm it has the opposite effect. Try to manage the number of hours you work, ensure that you take proper breaks. It could also be that your boss isn’t aware of your ambitions, take the opportunity to discuss this and don’t wait for review time; that could be too far away.
Mood swings are often triggered by something and can be explained by looking back as to what happened before like the overindulging and addictions. Look after yourself during this time and don’t be hard on yourself. Your moods are expressions of emotions and happen for a reason.
Feel like trauma resolution coaching might be for you?
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